Yes, it’s hard to believe, but the leading romance novel publisher is 60 years old this month.
The purveyor of pulp fiction has weathered storms of social upheaval, grown alongside women through empowerment movements, and continually found ways to balance realism, escapism, relevance and desire.
Says a thorough and compelling article on CBC, “Harlequin was an early master of brand identification, and the Harlequin romance is undeniably a commodity. At one point, some series were standardized at 192 pages per title, so they could be efficiently printed, packed, shipped and shelved. The company’s website, which courts writers as well as readers, spells out punishingly exact writers’ guidelines for each sub-genre. These rules specify not just manuscript length but also seemingly subjective matters like the qualities of the hero (”while he may be harsh and direct, he is never physically cruel”) and the heroine (”realistic, capable and as committed to love as she is to her career”). Some even give percentage breakdowns for the novel’s point of view (”60% heroine and 40% hero,” suggests one).
It’s a formula, but then, romantic love is formulaic. After 60 years, Harlequin knows that a kiss is still a kiss; a sigh is just a sigh. The novels have changed in their details, factoring in real-life issues like working mothers, single parents and even condom use. But they’ve kept the fundamental arc of relationships, from attraction to misunderstanding to the requisite happily-ever-after ending. And readers wouldn’t want it any other way”.
By now, you’ve probably heard of the flap over the Vermont Country Store: the vaunted, olde-tymey retailer who markets under the “Purveyors of the Practical and Hard-to-Find” is now hawking sex aides in its latest catalog.
But here’s the thing: the dust-up over the Intimate Solutions section is less about bucking the brand’s traditionalist image and more about the fact that they’re reaching out to the blue-rinse crowd:
Explains Orton in a statement to the Associate Press, “we never got any letters saying we want this. This was a sense, because our customers are a certain age and sex is below the surface in the world we deal in. I said ‘Look, let’s see if our customers respond to this.’”
If we assume that seniors, like every other above-consent age group, have a right to good, wholesome, safe and enjoyable sex, wouldn’t the Vermont Country Store be the right brand to help them out? If not, are we comfortable leaving books like the laughable - intentionally or incidentally - “Grandpa Does Grandma” to the task?
Seems to me that satisfying sex for seniors fits perfectly with the “practical & hard-to-find” brand promise.
(Well, specifically Mr. Abraxas, but also to all you other readers of the Newlybed.)
Have a lovely, snuggly, vasopressin-and-oxytocin-induced hazy day out there.
And in case you missed it, Examiner.com published a comprehensive exploration of Valentine traditions around the globe.
Who knew that in Scotland the first young man or woman encountered by chance on the street or elsewhere will become that individual’s Valentine or at both Japan and Taiwan celebrate with two Valentine Days or Belarussians(pictured right) were so into the pageantry of it all?
National Mistress Day is February 13. It’s an unofficial holiday - unlike the observance of Valentine’s Day which, as we all know, seems to be rigidly enforced by powerful chocolate and flower cartels - but one that’s.
Where did it come from, you ask?
Well, the Examiner (via Gothamist via Gourmet Magazine) seems to think that it’s a natural outcrop of overbooked love calendars. While February 14 is taken up by dutiful doting on a spouse, the day before is when highrollers in big cities spend time and money on their other other halves.
Noel Biderman, president of a website which helps married partners cheat, says “It might not be a nationally celebrated day, but it’s at least a day to practice your ‘mistress retention’ skills.” The NY Daily News article he’s quoted in breaks the event into its constituent elements.
So what should you do if you’re married and faithful? Take your spouse out twice! And always always always treat your wife like you would a mistress: consider yourself embroiled in an illicit, hot-like-lava affair, where the conversation crackles, the champagne flows, and the sex sizzles.
Jezebel tipped me on to this Daily Mail article, which introduces some fantastic sex instructional vids just released by the BFI (British Film Institue, darlings). [Note: As always, props means do take the time to read both articles and the always-pithy Jezzie commentators.]
Second, the goods:
Here’s the 1932 flick we’ve been dying to see, “The Mystery of Marriage.” Enjoy!
The University of Washington has undertaken a nice, safe, interfaith project to explore how different religious systems stack up on particular topics.
This week, writers representing Baha’i, Christianity, Judaism, Islam tackled sex.
Common threads? Unity, spiritual growth and sexual chastity until marriage.
The differences? Yours to glean.
Take look at the whole thing here - but be warned: religious profs these writers are not. But while their analysis may flag in places, their insights are borne of personal experience and make for a revealing read. [And prep yourself for a lot of vertical scrolling.]
You know it’s gotta be mid-February when the flurry of sex/lust/love research goes from a few snowflakes to a full-on blizzard.
The big theme of today - only two! days! before! V-day! - is about our favorite neurochemicals ever, oxytocin & vasopressin and how they conspire to be the boss of you.
It’s so inspiring that we just insist they make a movie or two out of it. So, here are the pitches:
Option A: The Love Dramedy
The research: Bianca Acevedo and company are researchers who, this explains, are “part of a new field in science that seeks to biologically explain love, and so far they have found that love is mostly understood through hormones, genetics, and brain images.” Moreover, says her colleague Larry Young, love “has a biological basis”.
Sure, sure. It’s all between your ears, and magical sparking neurons release chemicals that make you feel good and gooey and keep you coming back for more. It’s drug-like, right?
Of course! “The brokenhearted show more evidence of what I’ll call craving,” said Lucy Brown, a neuroscientist. “Similar to craving the drug cocaine.”
“Romantic love is an addiction; a wonderful addiction when it is going well, a horrible one when it is going poorly,” another researcher on the team said, adding that “People kill for love. They die for love.”
The movie: In the tradition of non-fiction getting spun into rom-coms, someone could write this into a movie. They could set it in a high school and call it Love is the Drug. This is what a trailer might look like:
Option B: The Rom Com
The research: A high-brow piece in the venerable NYT features Hannah Holmes, and her new book “The Well-Dressed Ape: A Natural History of Myself.” Both writer and researcher are helpless against the grey goo-ey-ness of it all, unable resist the lure of likening love to a labyrinth of neurochemicals. In this too-long-to-hold-our-attention article, we learn that “humans, like dolphins and some chimpanzees, are one of the few species that have sex for pleasure, not just reproduction” and that “other unusual human behaviors include the ability to cooperate (especially when we know we’re being watched, as one study showed), and to share resources and territories — albeit with difficulty”.
The piece then blathers on about ring finger vs. index fingers lengths. And then it meanders around Holmes house. Then something about Match.com and how she met her, well, match there. Effing great. But what about brain drugs?
Ah yes, here we go - it’s in that final paragraph about how cute and nice her husband is: “So just by reading my prospect’s face — and humans are very good at gauging personality in a face — I already had an idea he wasn’t aggressive toward me. And since I’m not very aggressive either, that Berlin Wall of caution crumbled pretty quickly. And of course, the oxytocin didn’t hurt.”
The movie: Could this be a movie? Of course. They could call it Love.com. With sexy, hip but non-threatening youthful characters. But it would probably skew too geeky and need be set in Japan.
In case you missed it, the New York Times featured a doubly-lovely lovey-dovey photo spread called “In the Bedrooms” - an art book produced by creative & romantic partners James Frank Tribble and Tracey Mancenido. The book features New York couples in - guess where - their bedrooms canoodling and teasing out ‘awwwwwwwwws!’ from onlookers (like me, duh).
Yes, it’s hard to believe, but the leading romance novel publisher is 60 years old this month.
