The explanation: This story from Ghana News online, describes how a Nigerian couple that migrated to America in search of a better life and a green card.
“First, the man introduces his betrothed wife to his American darling as his sister to pave way for his marriage to the American lady. When the marriage crashed, his wife marries an American to secure the life ticket. So how did it fail? Attempt by a friend to sleep with his pseudo sister (Nigerian wife) foiled the deal. His ‘oyibo wife realized she was a guinea pig and quit the affair.”
The stuff of urban legend, right? Perhaps, although the news article details many more cases which prove the enduring popularity of the green card scam myth.
What is more telling (and more reliable) however, are the official sources who verify these rumors as fact.
ILW.com - a web newsletter for immigration lawyers - recently published its own research on the phenomenon, stating that more than 2.3 million foreign nationals gained lawful permanent resident status by marrying an American between 1998 and 2007. Two notable bullet points:
An overwhelming percentage of all petitions to bring foreign spouses or fiancés to the United States illegally (or to help them adjust visa status if they are already in the United States on non-immigrant visas) are approved — even in cases where the couple may only have met over the Internet, and may not even share a common language.
Marriage to an American is the clearest pathway to citizenship for an illegal alien. A substantial number of illegal aliens ordered removed (many of whom have criminal records) later resurface as marriage-based green card applicants.
And the analysis beyond the anecdotes shows that marriage fraud isn’t new, nor is it going away:
“Although the idea of importing foreign “catalog” spouses dates back to the 18th century, the concept of “mail-order brides” didn’t really take off until after the end of the Cold War and then exploded in popularity after the advent of the Internet, which has done more to facilitate cross-cultural relationships than any other event in human history.”
Cherry Blossoms alone claims to have match-made over 100,000 international couples since its inception in 1974; thousands of other services have got in the game since.
There are cultural biases at play, too, namely that foreign femmes are more likely to feel comfortable in traditional homemaker roles. Enter, GoodWife.com to point out that radical feminazis (their words, not mine) have polluted the potential spouse pool which requires men to look abroad. But there’s more to it, argues the ILW: marriage for money, arranged marriages and harbouring terrorists, also factor prominently in these international relationships.
The authors freely admit “there is no way of knowing what percentage of the 300,000-plus spouses who gain green cards each year through marriage to American citizens or LPRs do so based on a fraudulent relationship, but consular officers interviewed for this Backgrounder offered estimates ranging from 5 to 30 percent.”
While a list of action items for immigration officials concludes the piece, ultimately, opines the writer, ““if the American believes the relationship is real, then it is.”
Last week was a very busy one here at the Newlybed: I published 25 posts on lovely love/lust/sex and relationships/marriage.
Why? Because Valentines Day is like the Christmas for love and sex news. Press releases, research summaries, new products and advice & review columns flooded the online world.
And, I admit, they flooded the blog a bit too. Publishing a month of posts in just a few short days was really fun, but a few gems got lost, I’m sure.
So I’m scaling back a bit this week and next, giving you a chance to catch up on your Newlybed reading. I’ll post, but not as frequently. The Research Roundup will be back on track for next Sunday.
I’ll keep scouring the web for entertaining videos, awwww-inducing newlywed photos and thought-provoking stories, too. [Expect analysis and commentary on both, of course.]
And I’ll be renewing my focus on personal entries and tales from the Newlybed. Now, don’t expect detailed color commentary on my sex life, but I promise to be as revealing and emotionally naked as you’ll let me.
Take indie rock star Ben Lee, for example. Why he’s a brand-spanking-new newlywed, tying the knot last month to actress Ione Skye.
And not only does he gush profusely about her and they’re awesome nuptials in India, but in this article for Spinner he seems pretty blissed out about his new album, too:
“It’s actually more of a song about the universe,” Lee asserts. “It’s a love song to life. I mean, it can be perceived as a love song to a person, but I really wrote it as a love song to the process of existence. Devotion — it’s all the same whether you have devotion to a person or devotion to music or to nature or to God or whatever you call it.”
The most revealing tidbit of the article wasn’t the comically inept couple who had trouble distinguishing sex organs, but that in the South African Indian community of Durban “men’s G-strings are very popular with the younger Indian girls who buy it for their boyfriends,” according to an exhibitor at the city’s annual Sexpo.
Congratulations to the 50% (give or take) of consenting adults who are married: it’s National Marriage Week! Woot!
Finally, a week to tend to ourselves and our libidos, free of the pressures of work, grocery shopping and kidcare.
Or at least, that’s what you’d think it was if you believed your spiritual advisers, because they way they’re discussing a new book coming out this week it seems that marriage is all about decade after decade of hot, delicious sex.
If that doesn’t describe your coupledom, Rabbi Shmuley Boteach plainly asks why the hell not: “What happened to that magnetic force that we call desire?” His new book, Kosher Sutra: 8 Sacred Secrets for Reigniting Desire and Restoring Passion for Life. Says Boteach, “when you think of how powerful the sexual drive is, the idea that it has been lost between two people in the same bed every night is truly shocking. Sex is supposed to be hot, about yearning and deep lust, not a sedative to help you sleep.”
True, dat. But where’s the transcendental part come in? Shmuley reveals it through edicts #7 and #8, which center on “Unquenchable yearning — longing and lusting after someone in front of you but whom you can never quite reach” and going “Beyond the body — sex is the key to spiritual awakening that can happen within us.”
I’m game. This not only makes sense, but it makes me want to fondle Mr. Abraxas. So, mission accomplished, Shmuley: Your cross-over appeal to the secular humanist crowd is secured, and I will be buying your book.
But what about the all-important Christian perspective on this Rabbinically-penned text? Check back tomorrow.
In case you missed it, MTV reps are spamming love and romance blogs, message boards and social networks with a desperate call for participants for a new ‘reality’ show on newlywed life:
Hi, my name is Jennifer and I’m an associate at MTV. Currently we are casting for a new True Life episode, I’m a Newlywed. If you or anyone you know fits the description below let us know!
Now Casting True Life: I’m a Newlywed
Are you and your fiancé about to begin life as a married couple? Going from engagement to the altar is a journey full of challenges that test the strength of your relationship, but it only gets harder once you say your vows.
Do your friends and family think you and your fiancé are moving too fast by getting married? Will you be moving in together for the first time right after the wedding and think that married life is going to be a big change for you and/or your fiancé? Are you feeling nervous about making this lasting commitment?
If you appear to be between the ages of 18-28 and would like to share your story, MTV wants to hear from you! Email us at newlywed@mtvn.com and tell us as much about your situation as possible. Also, please be sure to include your name, location, phone number and photo.
Woot! Who wouldn’t want to be the new Nick & Jessica, amirite?
It’s a chick flick convention that a series of hilarious and endearing misunderstandings is usually enough to keep otherwise contented couples apart.
Dig deeper into the world of fiction, however, and you’ll see a long history of war, famine, religious conflicts, border battles, and family feuds working to divide happy unions. If you’re like me, you’ve probably wondered if these stories are flights of fancy or based on real world examples. Two current cases, taken from opposite corners of the globe, seem to indicate the latter.
In Pakistan, a newlywed couple who married without their parents’ consent now live in the Karachi police station to avoid the inevitable honor killing that awaits them should they return to their home village. They’re not alone in their plight either in Karachi, or worldwide. According to UN research cited in the article, about 5,000 people are murdered in honour killings, mostly women from South Asia and the Middle East. [Note: The article does a great job of providing more exposition on honor killings and the rural/urban divide in Pakistan; check it out.]
Closer to home is a peculiar case of cross border guards kiboshing coupledom. Back in 2007, newlyweds Nathaniel Spinney of Oregon and Sarah Rutherford of Nova Scotia accidentally-on-purpose fibbed about their marital status, telling border guards that they were engaged and not yet married. Spinney explains that the impulsive decision was a cover for the fact that he hadn’t applied for a fiance visa for Rutherford and wanted to square away legal filings once the couple arrived back in Oregon. But before they could, authorities uncovered the lie and were less than pleased: Rutherford is now midway through a 5 year re-entry ban into the US. The couple, unable to secure permanent employment for Spinney in Canada, lives on opposite sides of the continent.
While the pop culture press may have dispensed with newlyweds in favor crowning the next MILF-to-be with bump watches and fanning hookup/breakup rumors, for the regular news media, ‘newlywed’ is a heart-string tugger of an adjective.
It’s both an intensifier of horrific acts in crime and punishment stories, and a softener of already gooey human interest news stories. Newlyweds, like cute harmless puppies or radiant pregnant women, contain our collective desire for possibility and promise. They’re trotted forth to show how and when that covenant has been shattered, and to beg for a small reprieve - for them to be sheltered from the crueler realities of life.
Take this Israeli story, for example. Aharon Karov, a 22-year-old officer from Karnei Shomron went to war in Gaza a day after his wedding and was critically wounded. While he’s recuperating nicely and due to go for rehabilitation this week, his case has sparked action on the part of Israeli lawmakers, who are toying with a bill that would provide a one-year exemption from mandatory military service to new husbands and wives.
This begs the question: What would happen if that same extension were applied in the US? By no means is Karov’s case unique; just last week a soldier from Rockland, MA was killed in Iraq when a jeep he was riding in rolled over.
Does this matter as much for a volunteer army as a conscripted one? Would such an exemption be as open to abuse for volunteers? Would it apply equally to women as men?
Disclaimer: Obviously, the following vid is NSFW and NSFK. It’s best enjoyed from the cuddly comfort of your newlybed, but is suitable for all types of homebound weekend viewing.
