Yes, it’s hard to believe, but the leading romance novel publisher is 60 years old this month.
The purveyor of pulp fiction has weathered storms of social upheaval, grown alongside women through empowerment movements, and continually found ways to balance realism, escapism, relevance and desire.
Says a thorough and compelling article on CBC, “Harlequin was an early master of brand identification, and the Harlequin romance is undeniably a commodity. At one point, some series were standardized at 192 pages per title, so they could be efficiently printed, packed, shipped and shelved. The company’s website, which courts writers as well as readers, spells out punishingly exact writers’ guidelines for each sub-genre. These rules specify not just manuscript length but also seemingly subjective matters like the qualities of the hero (”while he may be harsh and direct, he is never physically cruel”) and the heroine (”realistic, capable and as committed to love as she is to her career”). Some even give percentage breakdowns for the novel’s point of view (”60% heroine and 40% hero,” suggests one).
It’s a formula, but then, romantic love is formulaic. After 60 years, Harlequin knows that a kiss is still a kiss; a sigh is just a sigh. The novels have changed in their details, factoring in real-life issues like working mothers, single parents and even condom use. But they’ve kept the fundamental arc of relationships, from attraction to misunderstanding to the requisite happily-ever-after ending. And readers wouldn’t want it any other way”.
Phew.
Last week was a very busy one here at the Newlybed: I published 25 posts on lovely love/lust/sex and relationships/marriage.
Why? Because Valentines Day is like the Christmas for love and sex news. Press releases, research summaries, new products and advice & review columns flooded the online world.
And, I admit, they flooded the blog a bit too. Publishing a month of posts in just a few short days was really fun, but a few gems got lost, I’m sure.
So I’m scaling back a bit this week and next, giving you a chance to catch up on your Newlybed reading. I’ll post, but not as frequently. The Research Roundup will be back on track for next Sunday.
I’ll keep scouring the web for entertaining videos, awwww-inducing newlywed photos and thought-provoking stories, too. [Expect analysis and commentary on both, of course.]
And I’ll be renewing my focus on personal entries and tales from the Newlybed. Now, don’t expect detailed color commentary on my sex life, but I promise to be as revealing and emotionally naked as you’ll let me.
Thanks for reading!
They may be one of the farthest outposts of the Anglosphere, but Aussies still have some important insights to share with us North Americans, especially when it comes to matters of love and lust.
After all, they have more sex than we do. And that’s important, because, as this columnist points out, there extra oomph in the bedroom packs as much of a happiness-boost as scads of extra money would.
Writes Justine Davies, “couples who have sex at least four times per month effectively create happiness worth US$50,000 per year. Apparently Australians, on average, have sex about three times a week, so I think it would be safe to assume that most of us are managing eight times per month on average. That means, with our currently lousy exchange rate, we’re generating about $150,000 of happiness, just from sex alone!” Add this to the boost from being happily married - pegged at about $100,000 a year - and well, a regular roll in the hay can really mean you’re rolling in it.
Are you keeping up with the Aussies? What’s your marital happiness valued at?
Congratulations to the 50% (give or take) of consenting adults who are married: it’s National Marriage Week! Woot!
Finally, a week to tend to ourselves and our libidos, free of the pressures of work, grocery shopping and kidcare.
Or at least, that’s what you’d think it was if you believed your spiritual advisers, because they way they’re discussing a new book coming out this week it seems that marriage is all about decade after decade of hot, delicious sex.
If that doesn’t describe your coupledom, Rabbi Shmuley Boteach plainly asks why the hell not: “What happened to that magnetic force that we call desire?” His new book, Kosher Sutra: 8 Sacred Secrets for Reigniting Desire and Restoring Passion for Life. Says Boteach, “when you think of how powerful the sexual drive is, the idea that it has been lost between two people in the same bed every night is truly shocking. Sex is supposed to be hot, about yearning and deep lust, not a sedative to help you sleep.”
True, dat. But where’s the transcendental part come in? Shmuley reveals it through edicts #7 and #8, which center on “Unquenchable yearning — longing and lusting after someone in front of you but whom you can never quite reach” and going “Beyond the body — sex is the key to spiritual awakening that can happen within us.”
I’m game. This not only makes sense, but it makes me want to fondle Mr. Abraxas. So, mission accomplished, Shmuley: Your cross-over appeal to the secular humanist crowd is secured, and I will be buying your book.
But what about the all-important Christian perspective on this Rabbinically-penned text? Check back tomorrow.
Well, newlyweds, with Valentines Day approaching, you may be itching to replenish your stock of bedtime manuals and guidebooks.
Two new titles may pique your interest.
First up, Tera Patrick (Google her or ask your husband if you’re not familiar with her, ahem, body of work) has released a workout DVD. It’s just for women, just for the boudoir and just in time for Valentines Day. Fit 4 Sex promises to sleeken your silhouette, tighten your torso and up your stamina with such routines like “The Spidey: Hip flexor stretches to keep you flexible through the night” and “Frisky Kitty” promotes strenuous stretches loosen joints and keep the body limber. That Patrick is capitalizing on bedroom bodybuilding isn’t surprising in and of itself. It seems like this is a natural extension of the strippercizing hoopla of D-listers like Carmen Electra. Patrick keeps the whole thing women-friendly and sex-positive, saying that “sexual well being is about body concept, poise and most importantly connecting with yourself before connecting with your partner.”
The other title is a bit more jarring, however. Frat boy sex guide “How to Treat a Woman: The Art and Science of Sex Whispering” rehashes a 1918 expose called “Married Love” - which delicately explained the differing requirements men and women have for foreplay and intercourse of husbands a wives - into a paternalistic and manipulative playbook. According to the Daily Texan’s reviewer, while it’s clear that the sexuality of men and women is markedly changed over the past 9 decades, “in 2009, a man shouldn’t have to “take care” of his lover while
she sits in ignorant sexual innocence”. If you need that kind of one-sided, jingoistic advice, just go to AskMen.com or The Frisky instead, gentlemen: they’re free. For sensible, holistic and even humorous perspectives, why not check out some of the titles in my Amazon list?
As a sex-positive 3rd wave feminist, negotiating newlywed/newlybed territory can fun and fulfilling, but far from uncomplicated. So, when I think I can get away with it unnoticed, I indulge in small yet embarrassingly silly New Wife delights. It’s not as if I turn down the living room dimmer switch and ogle my sparkly carats.
No, instead I cherish the private glee that comes when I give my mother-in-law’s club card number at Safeway and the cashier calls me Mrs. HisLast. (Of course, when my relations do the same, I pretend not to hear them. )
I also relish the far more mundane (but equally satisfying) opportunities to co-write letter and cards. It gives me the chance to break out my Wedding Etiquette book on how to write stiff-and-formal notes; I warm up with a few polite phrases and then weave in as much sarcasm and tawdriness as possible.
Here’s an example of one we should (but won’t) be sending on:
Dear John and Ebeline, We’re quite sorry to have missed your open house last week. Word is that it was another lovely affair – no surprise, as your past parties were always great opportunities to cap off the holiday season with great conversation, fabulous food and delightful guests.
However, as a newlybedded couple, we have a social obligation to each other’s physical needs. We regard this spousal duty as intractable beyond all else. During the hours you held your open house, Mr. Abraxas rather unfortunately became taken by a fit of passion and we spent the entire evening in bed, feeling otherwise unfit to attend your party.
Normally, we would be happy to reschedule for another outing, but it is rather unpredictable as to when one of us may fall ill with this sickness. Last Thursday, Mr. Abraxas was feeling quite chipper; without warning, during the simple act of dressing for the party his temperament changed dramatically. As you can imagine, we would hate for this scene to be repeated in circumstances where a quiet, private room was not immediately available.
Again, please accept our sincerest apologies.
All the best for the new year,
The Abraxi